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Hold the box in front of your crotch. The Box of Puppies Where to use it: With your dominant hand, reach into your pocket and grab onto your jimmy. No one wants a sudden pocket rocket to cause ignorant, wandering eyes to view them as some kind of pervert. Cover with your shirt and pretend like nothing happened. Next, cube in hand, adjust your belt.

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Dinner parties, galas, graduations How to do it: The next step requires a little light fibbing. In one fluid motion, position the boner between your skin and the waistband of your pants. For example, when meeting Hillary Clinton or a high-ranking Kardashian. The Waistband Trick Where to use it: Only as a last resort when someone of dire importance is nearby. Next, cube in hand, adjust your belt.

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Cover with your shirt and pretend like nothing happened.

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Everything you wanted to know about little boys and their erections

While adjust, cautiously slip the ice cube into your boxers or briefs, depending on how you ride and press the ice against your pink helmet. With the speed and agility of a cat, gingerly reach into your pocket and wrap your hands around your wand. The most inappropriate places for an erection to exist: You have to tell a story and, with the free hand, gesticulate like an Italian grandmother. Work, on a casual date, jury duty.

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Kid's First Boner

The Flex Where to use it: With your dominant hand, reach into your pocket and grab onto your jimmy. Picture your mother, the woman who gave birth to you. Your hands are tied, so you need to will your boner down with your imagination. Did you ever accidentally walk in on your parents doing it? Jeremy Glass is a writer at Thrillist and this is his magnum opus. But please -- don't kidnap or murder anyone.

little boy erection in public
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